So after all the baking and spending time with a friend and a little one... I was pretty tired. I got back home after dropping them off at their house and had the whole house to myself and was trying to relax... and ended up having a very long and emotional night. I can't really go into why... I dont know if I will ever go into why, but more than EVER right now I wish Chris was here to love on me. No, he is not the reason for my sadness... lol. I mean, I am sad he is not here right now because he is such a wonderful support system and he shows his love so well, but my sadness comes from the unmentionable. I laid flat on my face crying for hours and praying that God would give me some peace and just let me sleep. I finally got it at 5 in the morning, and then turned around to get up for church at 730...whew. I can not wait to get a move on with my life. I am ready to have my gastric bypass, move, get a good job somewhere else other than Mobile, being with Chris, and making a new and better life. Leaving my fears behind and leaving generational curses behind. I refuse to live with them. I refuse to be a person molded by another human... but rather I will live as a person molded by God. I hate having so much stress... it sits in my chest and its hard to breath. I carry all my stress in my upper body. Maybe I need to work out tonight! Humm...sounds like a good idea. I need to take time and do for me!! :) Gonna go make some green beans now. **Hungry late at night and trying to stay healthy!..haha**
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