Christmas Spirit

As a child I remember taking family drives through neighborhoods thoughout the city and looking at all the Christmas lights on the houses. It was always a great memory of mine. I also remember feeling that "cheer" was seen more and people seemed to be a little more happy. The past few days, as I have intentionally been looking for such things, I have wondered where it has all gone to. Perhaps the real reason for the season has been lost and so has the joy. I was on my way home from my brothers house last night and came through a neighborhood in Olive Branch just to look for lights and out of about 100 houses (est.), I literally saw two that had any kind of lights on them at all. One had a string of white lights on the roof and the other had a santa in the front yard. Not to put an "importance" on Christmas decoration, but I just feel like everything is missing its happiness.

Christ is the reason for the season. Seems as if he has been pushed out of our busy life styles as well. Everything this season is all about "what do I get". What happened to many communities going downtown to feed the homeless? What happened to making your next door neighbor a homemade card and a pie? What happened to inviting friends to different church events?

What happened to telling the story of Jesus?

Why Do I Fell THIS Way?

This past week has been so rough for me. I am not sure why. I guess because I have been thinking a lot about being alone, especially during the holidays. I miss having special people around. I just feel like my temper is short and I am sad all the time. I put on a good smile a lot of the time, especially when I look around and see how sad everyone else in the world looks. Its just awful. This time of year should be cheerful and full of love. I mean, why shouldn't it! Jesus was born. Died for us. Loves us. But why can't I even be fully happy this time of year. There are a lot of things that I desire and I wonder if God will ever grant me the things I want out of life. Maybe I am just in a "funk" right now. Today during church my mind was in a million different places. The singing was amazing and I loved hearing voices blend so beautifully together. But any time someone got up to talk it was like a blur. I'm ready to feel good again. My emotions are so up and down.

I am visiting at my brother's in Jonesboro this weekend. Will head back home tomorrow afternoon. His girlfriend, Jessica is here and I just love her! So glad that she is apart of our family now. I hope to one day have someone in my life that is as good to me as she is to my brother.

I have been reading a lot. Love and faith stories. Maybe its not helping my mood any. When does a books story ever happen in real life...

Catch Up Post From My "New Start" Blog

Aug. 19, 2012 

Well, hello again everyone! This is my new blog! I figured that I wanted to start a new blog because through my old one and deleting all the post about life over the past few years would have taken to long. Besides, I'm turning over a new leaf in life and starting a new journey and I guess this means starting a new blog called "Thankful and Blessed" is very approaite. Over the past two months so much in my life has changed. As most of you know already, I did not get married. Thankfully. I called the wedding off a few weeks before the day. It was probably the best decision I have ever made. I moved out of my house and into a apartment on the other side of town closer to my job. It is safer, cleaner, I feel better there... just an overall better atmosphere. I am also a photographer now at Holland Studios in Germantown, Tn. Love it here. I enjoy my job, even though sometimes it can be hectic, its fun and refreshing. Nothing like getting to go to a job where you enjoy where you are. On top of that, I love photography, so that makes it even better. This past week I also decided to try a new church. Highland Church of Christ is a lot like Downtown in Searcy. (where I am from) Not very consertative and the singing was great, and those of you that know me know that singing is very important to me. Turns out, my boss and his family also go there. Lol.

As for my personal growth, I am seriously looking into going back to school. I want to finish out my degree and work in Special Needs Education. I am also working out everyday, and although it practacially kills me most days, just getting back into it, I am liking it. I am meeting new people and moving up in the world. I have been doing more for myself, trying to not worry so much about whats going on with others and trying to fix everything... cause in reality I cant fix everything, only God can. So I am rolling with the punches and moving forward. Not that I am stopping caring for other people lol. Just surrounding myself with people that are doing good things in life and moving forward as well. I have been coming up and praying on my 5 year goals... which i will be posting about soon.

I know God has a plan... happiness is in there and I am really starting to feel it. Money is super tight, bills dont always get paid on time... and at first I cried and stressed myself sick over it, then came to the realization that it is what it is and God is in control. Since then, things are looking up!

Well, I need to get back to work! Got a busy afternoon!

Thankful and Very Blessed,

Lucy

December 16, 2012- To Catch up read here...  www.thankfulnblessed.blogspot.com

I have decided to come back to "inside lucys mind" because of the past that has been written here. Its kind of awkward to have your past, when its not so good, plastered all over the internet. Some post will be deleted, but it also reminds me where I have come from. Life goes on.