In The Middle of This Summer

I really hate that I don't seem to have time to just sit and write on here anymore. Work has certainly kept me busy. As you all know... it's summer! Woo-hoo. For most people this means beaches, pools, vacations, late nights, roof top parties, etc. For me, it's going to bed at 9 or 10, waking up at 6, going to the gym, working all day taking pictures of seniors, coming home and going to bed to do it all over again. With the weekly visit to church and maybe a outing with a friend or two. Ok, so I shouldn't make it sound like I have done 'nothing' fun. :)

I have been able to experience a few new things this summer. I have been in Memphis over a year now, actually a year and a half, and still have yet to go and experience a lot that Memphis has to offer. Over the past two months I have gone to Mud Island, The Zoo, Metro 67, Beale St., and explored downtown. All of which I have enjoyed! I also went over Memorial Day weekend to Alabama for a family reunion on my dad's side of the family then over the 4th spent several days in Oklahoma with my mom's parents. I have certainly had a lot to smile about. I also visited a different church, The Body, a co-worker of mine goes there. Not that I am leaving Life Fellowship... I love it there. It's just really nice to interact with people more my age sometimes.

I have learned that I really like Imagine Dragons. Don't know who they are? Well they are a singing group. Ha. Their sound has become very appealing to me. I still can never get enough of some good worship too though. My latest favorite has been "You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe. You should listen to it! Its an awesome reminder at who God is for US!

Have I mentioned lately how much God loves me? He must. Some days I wonder if He really does. But then I realize I am still alive... and alive to trust and praise Him through all things.

Here are some pics over this summer!

Catching up- Crazy Love 3

Oh how I have missed writing in my blog! My work schedule has been very crazy over the past several weeks and I have neglected my typing. However, it's a beautiful day today and I am sitting outside of starbucks and happy to be writing again. I have always loved spending a few hours of my afternoons off enjoying the sun, a nice frappe, and my blog. 

As of last night, I am supposed to be on Ch. 8 of Crazy Love. I must say, its an amazing book. I have not been as faithful over the past two weeks to read it but the discussions on Sunday nights are always good. Over the next few days I will write on chapters 3-7 and catch up! 

Breakdown of the high points for me- Ch. 3:

Fearing God vs. reverent intimacy. Being in total fear of God can be bad. In my opinion. It's like a child always being scared of their parent or a bully at school. Sometimes when we say "Fear God" people read that as if we are truly terrified and that God is some mean man that just hits us with rules. I don't see it that way at all. My fear for him is more of a respect. I fear his wrath, yes, but respect his rules as I do my earthy father. Francis Chan says it very well in this chapter... " Fear is no longer the word I use to describe how I feel about God. Now I use words like reverent intimacy. I still fear God, and I pray that I always will. The Bible emphasizes the importance of fearing God.- But for a long time, I narrowly focused on His fearsomeness to the exclusion of his great and abounding love." I love how he puts that last statement. We sometimes let the "fear of fearing" over power how much He truly loves us and wants to have a deep relationship with us. "The God who loves us, and wants us to love Him back!" Ahh I love that part of the book. He desires us to love him. He yearns for us to come after Him like he comes after us. The whole thought of God longing for ME that was just takes my breath away. Sometimes I catch myself longing for a physical touch or word. I have even begged God to show himself to me in some way. A few nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and opened facebook and the first thing that I saw was a video post with a song by Kari Jobe. I listened to it. It's been a while since I have really spent time with worship music. And it turned into a all night thing. I laid in bed playing music and singing and just embracing the feeling that I had realized I had missed so much. I closed my eyes and felt as if I was in the arms of Jesus. And was it chilling! 

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get to Heaven and actually be in His arms! Later on in the book Chan writes "The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time." That statement is so true. We need God in EVERY aspect of our lives yet choose to push him away as if we don't need Him. Then some people might ask "why would a loving God force me to love Him?" But are we really forced? Some might say "God threatens me with hell and punishment if I don't begin a relationship with him." Fact is... we are not forced to love God. Its a choice we all will either choose to do or not to do. Loving Him and loving what He can do are two different things as well. To everyone, the blessing that God bestows on us are wonderful and well taken. But do you love Him only for those blessings? "Are you in love with God who is everything, or are you in love with everything He gives you?"-F. Chan. I can honestly say that looking back on my life I can see where both and neither have been my mindset. Times where I have been completely in love with God. Times where I sit and beg God for a blessing but don't do live our the life He has asked me to. Then there are times where I have just forgotten Him altogether. What did I expect then? 

Think a few moments on your thoughts of what a "crazy love" with God would mean for you and your life. This is one thing that I still struggle with daily. Some days are much better than others. I have ups and downs and days where I can't feel God at all. It doesn't mean that He isn't there though. 

Anxious Mind.

Hello again! I am sitting at Starbucks once again, sitting here thinking and so much is swimming through my mind. As I sit here and watch the 6 people in here with me, I wonder what God has going on in each of their lives. One of which is actually the pastor at my church, Patrick. He is busying himself writing and focusing so hard on what he is doing... If only that man knew how much he has impacted me the past few months.

Last night our small group met at Landon and Rachel's and we discussed Ch.2 of Crazy Love. If you have read the book or possibly even my last blog entry you kinda know what we were talking about. I have to say hearing the different storeies and outlooks on life from so many different people and being able to open up about personal struggles is very enlightening. In Ch.2 of the book the biggest thing that stuck out to me is where Francis Chan talks about anxiety. I touched on this in my last entry but I want to expound on it some more. So many times in my life, actually to be honest, just about every day at some point, anxiety or some stressful though takes over my mind in some way. I shared this with the group last night... I have a really hard time waiting and not worrying about the promises God has already promised me. I have a hard time just letting things "be". So in that, I bring more stress onto myself. I don't mean to. I don't want to. But I do. Some of my latest struggles have been with finances (becoming completely debt free, which I am WELL on my way), relationships including not only romantic but friendships as well, prospering at work and wondering if I am really giving it all I can (even when I know I am working my hardest and longest and all), my relationship with God, my family, even something so small as worrying every morning if my car is going to start when I go out to go to work. I'm always worried I am going to forget something or overlook something important. I put a lot of pressure on myself... and truth is, I don't have to. But how do I learn to totally let go and let God? I say that to people all the time. In fact, I also tell people that stressing won't do them any good. Humm... I guess that makes me a hypocrite. God provides us with a way to live a happy life. It's the world that leads us to believe that we can't. I will never forget the time I was downtown Mobile talking with some homeless men and the smiles that came across their face and the belief that they had that no matter what God would take care of them. Now we all know they worried about things... but it was that they professed all the time that they would be taken care of and finding joy in that! And look at me... I have a home, a car, a great job, great family, all the means I need to survive... and I can't sit back and just bask in the fact that God will take care of me. In every way. 

But... I WANT to. And I can. And with Gods help... I will. Its a every day struggle. But the most awesome part is that God knows that, see's it, and wants to help. I just have to always call out on him. I don't have to worry. Now, I do have to move and make choices and be active on things that can cause worry and make sure I keep up... I can't just stand dormant. However, if I follow and listen, God will lead me down the right path. 

Funny... I am listening to my music while typing this and "Jesus your my firm foundation" just came on... and the song right after is "It's all right"... man God is good. 

**Learning to Live Daily With Gods Guidance**

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7

Crazy Love- Thoughts on Ch. 2

Those words..."You Might Not Finish This Chapter..."

Have you ever really thought about it? Not just about not finishing a chapter, but how about not finishing your coffee? Not finishing giving your child a bath? Not finishing that last bite of homemade cheesecake? Not finishing telling you spouse you love them...?

After reading ch. 2 I felt really blessed to still be breathing but also knew the importance (reminded) in every breath I take and how every breath is a gift and I should be using every breath for bring Glory to God. That seems so small and little so much of the time in our daily lives! Don't ya think? We wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, do our hair, brush our teeth, makeup, dress, pack our belongings, walk to the car, drive to work, work 8 hours, drive home, cook dinner, change clothes, watch some tv, brush our teeth, climb into bed, say a quick prayer, and go to sleep. To only wake up 8 hours later and do it all over again. How many times during that day did you glorify God? How many times did you stop to say thank you? How many times did you make everything you did...not about you? 

We take SO much for granted in this life. We as humans act as if we know when and how life works and moves around us. Not! In Ch.2 Francis Chan explains it as like a movie. You are a extra in the movie and feel and act as if you are the star. Your face is barely shown for two seconds and yet you talk, act, and believe that you are the star. Just like in this movie, we do the same in the "movie of life". Instead of knowing, believing, and acting as if God is the main character, director, and writer, we put Him to the side and try to take over.

I will admit. I can be the worlds worst at taking things for granted!! I have gone days, maybe even weeks before underestimating God. I have put my problems and circumstances before God so many times! 

The following passage hit me like a brick when I read it!- "When I am consumed by my problems- stressed out about my life, my family, my job- I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a 'right' to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities."- Francis Chan. Wow, talk about a slap in the face! Especially mine! So many days of my life were/are wasted worrying, crying, over thinking circumstances in my life and forgetting to rejoice! 

My mother has always been a advocate for rejoicing even when the bad days come along. She has always told me to "grab the sink and thank God for it". I used to smirk when she said it and kinda pushed it to the back of my mind... Until one day, shortly after moving here to the Memphis area and having a breaking point, I grabbed onto my car steering wheel and continually thanked God for it and rejoiced in Him for all that I had in Him at that moment in time instead of letting my circumstances over take me any longer. (Thanks mom for the great advice). 

I still however, to this day, forget these small things. But put forth effort to do better! 

Phil. 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again; Rejoice!" After inserting this into ch.2 Chan goes on to say..."You'll notice that it doesn't end with...'unless you're doing something extremely important.' No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, 'Do not be anxious about anything!'"

Do not be anxious? WHAT! Oh my, how do I even do that!? I am an anxious person. Honestly. Things weigh on my bad. But its commanded to me that I am not anxious. This is seriously hard for me. Great example of a time where I have to come outside my comfort zone, rejoice in God, praise Him, and ask him continually to help me give all my worries to Him and let Him guide me. This is A EVERYDAY CHALLENGE for me... almost a every minuet of my day challenge. 

I have to make the choice to pray about it, seek God in my hard times, and thank Him, and rejoice in Him in good and bad. 

I want to live like the words written by Brooke Bronkowski in a essay titled "Since I have My Life Before Me". Most of you may have heard of her story... but here is what she wrote before being killed in a accident at a young age.

"I’ll live my life to the fullest. I’ll be happy. I’ll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.

You see, I’ll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I’ll have moments, good and bad, but I will wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that’s all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest. I’ll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I’ll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.

I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!!"- B. Bronkowski

Oh to learn to live like that! 

Praise God your breathing. Change your daily routine. Live it for Him and Him only. 

Crazy Love- Thoughts on Ch. 1

This so far has been a very intriguing book. Yes, I have only read the pre log and the first chapter but, as I am trying to wait and read a chapter a week to go along with our small group, its so hard to not pull it out and keep on reading. I got home last night after reading chapter "Stop Praying" and had a lot of thoughts running in and out of my head. I thought to myself about how someone who does not see God as I do might view what was said in the chapter about how he created things to give praise to Him, He is all fair and just, He decides punishments for sin, He is the all knowing, Mighty king... Wouldn't He seem kind of controlling, which in these days is a bad thing to most people. Please note that while I let these thoughts go through my mind, I do not view God in this context. I think because of the way we as humans have made the world it is so hard for us to grasp who God really is and how He really intended for us to receive him. For instance, if you were not a believer, how would you take this statement: " I sometimes struggle with how to properly respond to God's magnitude in a world bent on ignoring or merely tolerating Him. But know this: God will not be tolerated. He instructs us to worship Him and fear Him!"- Crazy Love. 

What would one think of the part... "He wont be tolerated and he tells us to worship him and fear him?" Isn't this exactly what we run from in 'today's' world? 

Just food for thought. However, in the book Francis Chan goes on to great explanation and I love when he says, " Don't we instead live as if God was CREATED FOR US, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our loved ones? Psalm 115:3 reveals, "Our God is in heaven, he does whatever pleases him." Yet we keep questioning him: "Why did you make me with this body and not that one?" " Why are so many people dying of starvation?" " Why don't you make yourself more obvious to the people who need you?" The answer to each of these questions is simply this (and its the answer we all hate, sort of like hearing your mom said "because I said so") But, because HE is GOD. He has more of a right to ask us why so many people ar starving. As much as we want God to explain himself to us, His Creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us."-Crazy Love

This goes back to we as humans and those who are not believers questioning what kind of God he really is. We compare him to human personalities. If you were to meet a friend at a coffee shop and he/she acted as though you should never question them, they are always right, yada yada, we wouldn't hang out with them much would we? BUT... look at this... can your friend make a world? Make galaxies  Can your friend heal diseases? Can your friend give and take away (more so than your money or sanity)? Can your friend count all the hairs on your head or know exactly how you are feeling in your heart? 

Even as a christian when I read the following passage out of the book I was kinda set back and still for a moment. Take time and really read this and soak it in!

"Can you worship a God who isn't obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?"- Crazy Love 

Ouch? 

We as humans think we are invincible  We think we are always right. However, God created you in His image. A humble, loving, giving, joyful creature you were made to be. God is all-powerful. 

Colossians 1:16 "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and FOR him." 

We are made FOR God. Breath it in. He deserves your praise. You were not made for me, I was not made for you. He is worthy of all praise and worship because of what he has done (including making you), is doing, and will do. 

End of Thoughts. 

Starbucks Nights

It's another night at Starbucks! I am in a comfy chair tonight! Woo-hoo! I sometimes sit and observe people around me, people watch I guess you could say. It's amazing the stuff you can learn and hear from different people around you. For instance, there is an older couple in here tonight and I assume the man can't hear very well so they are practically yelling their conversation. Lol. As follows: Man-" what did you say?" Woman-" I said we need to take your belt back." Man-"why I'll loose the weight to fit it." Woman-"you've been 'loosing that weight' since you put on your last 30." HAHA. I couldn't help but smile. Now they are off to politics, I think I'll turn off my ears now. 

Meanwhile a table away from the older couple is a group of three college age students who are very immature. They are talking about smoking, vandalism, getting kicked out of class, and breakups. One girl is very loud and turned to the older man (whom I was talking about earlier, and whom is also exercising his rights to carry a gun on his hip, which none else has bothered to even think about) and said, "OMG do you have a gun!?!" He then replied, "mam, thats my business don't you think." Oh boy my heart skipped a small beat. She then went on to act like a rotten girl and acted out saying "well excuse me, I was just asking, oh my I don't feel safe anymore, I wanna go smoke...yada yada yada." Then the man said...verbatim, "That cigarette has a bigger chance of killing you than my gun." I applauded him! 

People crack me up! The world we live in today is just something else. 

Now that the college kids have gone the two older couple are laughing and talking to the employees here and I love seeing the positive interaction. 

Now, enough of sharing of the people watch, today has been a good but tiring day! I got home from work about 5 and passed out fairly quickly for a hour or so nap. I didn't even mean to but I guess I needed it. The rest of the week is going to be pretty busy so sleep will come sweetly. 

A lot has been going through my mind the past few days. I am starting a book called "Crazy Love" with my small group. I am excited about it and I hope it can help shape and grow my relationship with God over the next few weeks as we read through and discuss it. I am actually starting chapter one tonight. Its called "stop praying"... We will see what happens! 

I guess this is it for tonight... unless something brilliant crosses my mind :) 

For your people watching eyes! 

The Happy Lane of My Life

Why is it so hard for me to write often on this blog!? Lol. I always have stuff to say and express but it hardly ever ends up on here anymore. So many times I have really cool things to share as well but don't. It possibly has something to do with me not having internet at my home... however, as I am tonight, Starbucks is a pretty comfortable place to hang out!

I have been working a lot lately. So thankful that I love my job! Not to many people in today's world can say that much anymore. But its the truth on my part. I have come to really enjoy my coworkers, the environment, the work in itself, although sometimes challenging and repetitive. Photography is such a sweet understated and over used (by just anyone) art. Anyone and everybody can have a good eye, but the effort you put towards it can help create something magical. I see work all the time that I wish I could match! I can only practice and get better! 

Life in itself has been better to! I have been going to a new church called Life Fellowship! The pastor there named Patrick is just amazing! I am still learning to enjoy and gain from the worship but this particular pastor can grab and keep my attention on anything. And he actually teaches from the BIBLE! He is not just an inspirational speaker or a hell, fire, and brimstone type guy. I love it! I learn something deep every week. These past few and next couple of weeks he is doing a series on "Home Sweet Home". The family life... God's way. Although I do not have a husband or children yet it has helped me and encouraged me in so so many ways. It makes me even more excited for when I have a family! Its nice to sit back and see how God works in every small aspect of life. 

Still no romances yet. And I'm good with it! It has been almost a year, coming up in March, since I broke off my engagement so I figured it was okay to let myself out there again...but I am being **possibly** overly cautious! Sometimes shutting down their chances before they even get one... don't worry, I am working on that! lol. 

One of my instagram photos from today! Looks good huh!? lol. 

I have honestly been happy lately. I have been meeting new people through small groups at church, getting more involved in the beautiful outdoors, even looking into buying a trek bike to go biking! Also going hiking again very soon! I love beautiful weather and will never pass up a good chance to be outside (when its not awfully hot) and possibly get good pictures and create good memories! 

A few pictures from the past few weeks!-

Playing with Green screen at work! 

Family convo between my brother (top text), me(green text), and my mother (middle text)

Baking Cheesecake minis for the super bowl party! 

Dentist visit! Ouch! 

However, the dentist told me I was a good girl and good to go!

At Memorial Gardens exploring on my day off! I love doing this kind of stuff!

Lazy day at the studio... self portrait

I AM EXPECTING THE BEST OUT OF THIS LIFE! 

Favorite quote of the week: "My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.' Instead I was a painter, and became Picasso."- Pabla Picasso

Christmas Spirit

As a child I remember taking family drives through neighborhoods thoughout the city and looking at all the Christmas lights on the houses. It was always a great memory of mine. I also remember feeling that "cheer" was seen more and people seemed to be a little more happy. The past few days, as I have intentionally been looking for such things, I have wondered where it has all gone to. Perhaps the real reason for the season has been lost and so has the joy. I was on my way home from my brothers house last night and came through a neighborhood in Olive Branch just to look for lights and out of about 100 houses (est.), I literally saw two that had any kind of lights on them at all. One had a string of white lights on the roof and the other had a santa in the front yard. Not to put an "importance" on Christmas decoration, but I just feel like everything is missing its happiness.

Christ is the reason for the season. Seems as if he has been pushed out of our busy life styles as well. Everything this season is all about "what do I get". What happened to many communities going downtown to feed the homeless? What happened to making your next door neighbor a homemade card and a pie? What happened to inviting friends to different church events?

What happened to telling the story of Jesus?

Why Do I Fell THIS Way?

This past week has been so rough for me. I am not sure why. I guess because I have been thinking a lot about being alone, especially during the holidays. I miss having special people around. I just feel like my temper is short and I am sad all the time. I put on a good smile a lot of the time, especially when I look around and see how sad everyone else in the world looks. Its just awful. This time of year should be cheerful and full of love. I mean, why shouldn't it! Jesus was born. Died for us. Loves us. But why can't I even be fully happy this time of year. There are a lot of things that I desire and I wonder if God will ever grant me the things I want out of life. Maybe I am just in a "funk" right now. Today during church my mind was in a million different places. The singing was amazing and I loved hearing voices blend so beautifully together. But any time someone got up to talk it was like a blur. I'm ready to feel good again. My emotions are so up and down.

I am visiting at my brother's in Jonesboro this weekend. Will head back home tomorrow afternoon. His girlfriend, Jessica is here and I just love her! So glad that she is apart of our family now. I hope to one day have someone in my life that is as good to me as she is to my brother.

I have been reading a lot. Love and faith stories. Maybe its not helping my mood any. When does a books story ever happen in real life...

Catch Up Post From My "New Start" Blog

Aug. 19, 2012 

Well, hello again everyone! This is my new blog! I figured that I wanted to start a new blog because through my old one and deleting all the post about life over the past few years would have taken to long. Besides, I'm turning over a new leaf in life and starting a new journey and I guess this means starting a new blog called "Thankful and Blessed" is very approaite. Over the past two months so much in my life has changed. As most of you know already, I did not get married. Thankfully. I called the wedding off a few weeks before the day. It was probably the best decision I have ever made. I moved out of my house and into a apartment on the other side of town closer to my job. It is safer, cleaner, I feel better there... just an overall better atmosphere. I am also a photographer now at Holland Studios in Germantown, Tn. Love it here. I enjoy my job, even though sometimes it can be hectic, its fun and refreshing. Nothing like getting to go to a job where you enjoy where you are. On top of that, I love photography, so that makes it even better. This past week I also decided to try a new church. Highland Church of Christ is a lot like Downtown in Searcy. (where I am from) Not very consertative and the singing was great, and those of you that know me know that singing is very important to me. Turns out, my boss and his family also go there. Lol.

As for my personal growth, I am seriously looking into going back to school. I want to finish out my degree and work in Special Needs Education. I am also working out everyday, and although it practacially kills me most days, just getting back into it, I am liking it. I am meeting new people and moving up in the world. I have been doing more for myself, trying to not worry so much about whats going on with others and trying to fix everything... cause in reality I cant fix everything, only God can. So I am rolling with the punches and moving forward. Not that I am stopping caring for other people lol. Just surrounding myself with people that are doing good things in life and moving forward as well. I have been coming up and praying on my 5 year goals... which i will be posting about soon.

I know God has a plan... happiness is in there and I am really starting to feel it. Money is super tight, bills dont always get paid on time... and at first I cried and stressed myself sick over it, then came to the realization that it is what it is and God is in control. Since then, things are looking up!

Well, I need to get back to work! Got a busy afternoon!

Thankful and Very Blessed,

Lucy

December 16, 2012- To Catch up read here...  www.thankfulnblessed.blogspot.com

I have decided to come back to "inside lucys mind" because of the past that has been written here. Its kind of awkward to have your past, when its not so good, plastered all over the internet. Some post will be deleted, but it also reminds me where I have come from. Life goes on. 

Life Goes On

Tonight is the first night that I have really sat down and decided to go public (via internet) about some situations that have occurred over the past few weeks. Most of you know by now that I made the decision to call off my wedding to Chris. I will not go into details because it is between us and God and because there are already so many lies going around that I just don't want to come down to that level. Every day I wake up I know however, more and more, that I made the right decision. I am happy...genuinely happy. This is a feeling that I missed! I am taking better care of myself, taking time for myself, working out, eating better...do what makes me feel good and happy and thanking God at the same time for showing me things in time!

So, life does go on! And boy, am I happy that it does. I have an amazing job at the biggest studio in Memphis. I also have my own place, my friends, my own money... my life! I am learning new things day by day and I couldn't ask for more. Now, of course, I could ask for people to stop making up rumors, assumptions, yada yada yada and just leave things alone and mind their own business... but people just don't do that. Its second nature to always be right.

I am happy. Point blank. I thank God EVERYDAY! Life can not go anywhere but up from here.

So, now that this is out even more publicly... say a prayer for both families. God does have a plan... and I can not wait to live it out. I know the lessons I have learned and they have been and will be so valuable to me.

Live every day as if it was your last! Love yourself! Remember your own heart is important to!

Love, Lucy

Name This Holiday: Ressurection Day vs. Easter

Happy Easter to everyone! I don’t know about you, but I am so thankful that Jesus is alive! What a comforting thought to know that the man that died for us and saved us is alive by our Gods side. Some days I wish he was a physical figure for me to physically see and talk to and touch. But his Holy presence feels so good. I walked outside my house today to get some fresh air (sickness has overtaken my body today and I needed to breath in some cool air) and I saw almost every house on the street up from us had at least 10 cars in front of it and tons of families and friends everywhere. It was beautiful to see, however, I wondered if they really were celebrating Jesus’ resurrection or if they were just hunting eggs and bbq’ing. Now, I have most certainly done this to and actually wished I could have done it today with my family and friends, so in no way am I putting this down! Trust me…however between seeing this and while I was on facebook checking up on some friends and saw what my best friend Rachel wrote I just thought I would share some feelings on it. Rachel wrote on facebook: “…….” And I started to think about this statement and how true it is. We do a lot of “celebrating” in our “worldly” ways and they often over shadow the true and original meaning of why we even named this particular day a holiday.

I got a little curious and decided to look up some articles on why we call the Ressuriction Sunday, “Easter”. I went onto www.christianitytoday.com and read an article by Ted Olsen. Here is an excert from that piece.

“why do we call it Easter?

---The fact of the matter is no one knows for sure, but our best bet comes from Bede ("The Venerable"), a late-seventh-century historian and scholar from Anglo-Saxon England. He says Easter's name comes from the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre, associated with spring and fertility, and celebrated around the vernal equinox. So there you go. As Christmas was moved to coincide with (and supplant) the pagan celebration of winter, Easter was likely moved to coincide and replace the pagan celebration of spring.
And while we're at it, the Easter Bunny comes from these pagan rites of spring as well, but more from pagan Germany than pagan Britain. Eighteenth-century German settlers brought "Oschter Haws" (never knew he had a name, did you?) to America, where Pennsylvania Dutch settlers prepared nests for him in the garden or barn. On Easter Eve, the rabbit laid his colored eggs in the nests in payment. In Germany, old Oschter lays red eggs on Maundy Thursday. If anyone knows why children in an agrarian society would believe a rabbit lays eggs, please tell us or a historian near you. We're all dying to know.---

So after reading this he goes on to state “enough of the pagan side of Easter and onto the Christian history… This excert read:

Thursday commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus, getting its name from the Latin translation of Jesus' saying that evening, "A new commandment I give to you" Mandatum novum do vobis. It is marked by foot washing and the blessing of the oils. But in various parts of the world, it has other traditions as well. The German word "to mourn" (grun) is very similar to the word for green (grÜn). So in Austria, Hungary, and much of Germany, today is GrÜndonnerstag: a day to eat spinach and green salad. This is not the only reason for eating greens: Passover is celebrated with karpas (a green vegetable, usually parsley) and bitter herbs. In old England, men used to shave their beards on Maundy Thursday, as this was a time to cleanse the body as well as the soul to prepare for Easter (Resurrection )

Here is another article on “Pascha” vs. “Easter” or “Passover” vs. “Eastra”. This man is named Michael Harper and is a little stronger in his words. Click on the link http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/fasts_feasts/harper_pascha_easter.htm -- to read the entire article but here is an excert.

This is a much more important subject than a mere dispute about words. If the word in English is Easter, then one is bound to ask "what word?" Was there some word which, when translated into English, became "Easter"? The plain answer is "no". There is one simple reason for this, Jesus Christ in the days of his flesh never visited these shores, and his words were not written in English. He spoke Aramaic, and his sayings were recorded in Greek, as were the words of the other NT writers like Paul and Peter. An example of the desire to replace the word "Pascha" with "Easter" is the King James version translation of Acts 12:4 which describes the arrest of Peter by Herod and his intention "after Easter to bring him forth to the people". The Greek word here is pascha, and all modern translations rightly now translate the word "passover"

We need to realise also that there is no equivalent word for "Easter" in the Greek language, for one simple but important reason, the word is an Anglo-Saxon word for a pagan festival. The word in its original use is entirely pagan. According to the English Church historian Bede, it derives from a pagan spring festival in honour of Eastra or Ostara a Teutonic goddess. It has no associations whatsoever with Christ, His death and Resurrection, or indeed anything Christian. Is it not, therefore, unsuitable to be used to describe the greatest day in the life of the Church? The French, Italians and Spanish do not make the same mistake. Their words come from the proper source — Passover, which in Greek is the word "Pascha".

Like most holidays, especially the Christian ones, its obvious that we have put our own spin on things. What does Easter mean to you? Not really sure on how I feel about this article but I do know that I believe in what the Bible says and whether or not you call it Easter or Resurrection Sunday, it should be recognized as the day that Jesus rose. For He is why we are all here. God is so good. I can not say that enough. No matter what situations I get into, He is always there to lead me back to where I need to be. I don’t know how someone could not believe in Him. So… All this being said…

HAPPY RESURRECTION DAY!!!!!

Still Breathing!

So, since moving in we have yet to really have the house in total order...humm I am wondering if it will ever be in order. However, I did get the master bedroom redone and I love it! I will post pictures of it in the next blog when I update about the house.

So far we have visitied a few churches. This is kind of a pain. I wish I could wake up and the perfect church for us as a couple would just be at our front door. We have two that we like though...but we need to do a little more searching before making a decision. Bringing two church backgrounds into a family is not really easy, but we are making comprimises and working it out. I am so thankful to have a great man in my life. He is usually really understanding haha. Most of the time.

We got a really nice and unpleasent surprise at the same time... turns out (although I have not really needed it) the AC is broken and has been broken all month. The nice part about it was that our electric bill was only $37. This was great for our first month and since Im still not working at the moment. Granted we still owed half the deposit so our actual amount due was a little larger but still this is GREAT! I thought it was going to be crazy expensive. After seeing this I wondered if maybe I could tough out the heat when Chris is not home this summer and keep our bill this low...doubt it! It sounds nice though. Ha.

Chris is off working all the time... So I am here in Olive Branch alone all the time...which is good I guess because we aren't married just yet. Lol. However, it is coming up so quickly! Only around 8 weeks left. My parents have been working hard getting the land ready for all of our guest and I finally sent out invitations! I looked at my list and there is still a lot I have to do. First and foremost Chris needs to get his tux...what kind of a wedding would that be if everyone but the groom had a matching tux...haha. Actually it may look just right considering who we are...silly people. Lol. :)

I will be posting anther post really soon about the house updates and all. Several people have been asking about pictures of the house...don't worry they are coming. Just wanted to get it somewhat in order first. No one wants to see a messy house over the internet...you can just come over for that! Hahah. Just playing.

I miss my family and my friends! Love you all!

Life In Olive Branch

So, since moving here I have had no time at all to post on here so I figured it was time. Lol. We don't have internet and writing a blog on my phone is not the easiest thing to do. Chris and I got a house in Olive Branch, MS. We are about 1 min from his job so it is really convient. We have been blessed with our first home. We have a nice, 3 bed and 2 bath home, with a big, privacy fenced in back yard. I can't wait to have Bama, my lab up here. It has been a big adjustment. I have been here almost two weeks and I am learning a lot and learning it quickly. I have a lot of worries and some days are much harder than others but I make it through. I am here alone most of the time... Being that Chris works so much on the road... And that we are not married yet... I'm at the house alone. I've been Job searching... This is a downer. Lol. I want to work not only to have extra income but to keep active. Inbetween all of this we are also looking for a new church home. I miss my family... A lot. Growing up and moving away is a lot harder than I thought it would be... None the less I am excited about this new adventure. Scary... And I wish I could spare us some of the hard lessons but... Depending on God is becoming more real everyday.

Here are some pictures of our random adventures since being here. I will upload some of our house soon. I can't wait to have internet!

The pictures are: Chris at lunch, my first home meal here ( chicken and veggies), chickens in our yard (thanks to our neighboors), Chris fixing the furniture we were moving in, and Charlie sitting in Chris's lap watching him play bb on the Xbox. Lol.

Changes for health

My church is doing a fast for 21 days and I got to thinking that some of these "fasting rules" (they are doing the daniel) would be good to carry on forever. One because I am really striving to loose as much weight as possible and two because I would like to carry a year long fast of "something" each year as maybe an incentive to keep improving and growing in my spiritual life. If you don't know what the daniel fast consist of it mainly cuts out meats, sodas, all sweets, breads, etc. After the 21 days I am vowing to do the following for the rest of the year...:

1. No more sodas (you can do it Lucy!!!)
2. No more food after 7! (this will be hard because I am one to stay up late and always munch, and my body shows it!)
3. I will exercise EVERYDAY for at least 30 mins. (at home... videos, bands, walking...just something to get my heart going)
4. I will eat HEALTHY food portion sizes! And learn to know the difference from being satisfied and full.

I am not going to add more onto myself than I think I can handle... So I am starting with this. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can... Repeat until it becomes, I know I can, I know I can...

Praying, praying, praying... Im tired of being the same. I pray that I get to where I love to be involved in healthy activities and get enough courage to go out and be active even in front of people. I know there is happiness in it. I just have to actually stick with it long enough this time to get it done. I wish I had a support group or friend that was available to go through this with me. But, friends will come in time I am sure... maybe. lol. Everyone I know is pretty good looking. Ah well... I can do it... I have to.

Reading Challange

Last year I started reading Denise Hunter, Karen Kingsbury, Lisa McKay (must read hers), as well as a few other Christian Fiction authors. But, I have also read Laruelene McDaniel, Jennifer Weiner, and a few others in the Fiction category. I have decided that for the new year I want to continue on my reading. However, I am actually going to make a goal for myself. Because of my busy schedule and still learning to "stick" with a book that doesn't catch my interest in 15 pages, I am going to challenge myself to read TWO books a month. Thats 24 books this year. Yes, I can most certainly do this. Hopefully I will get to where I am reading even more than that. But above even these 24 books... I am challenging myself to read the entire bible over the course of this year. So... 24 books plus the Bible. Yes, I should have my eyes busy. Below are a few reviews on some really good books I have read as well as my reading bucket list. Lol.

Jennifer Weiners Book: "Best Friends Forever" was a pretty good book. I actually JUST finished this one about two mornings ago. Here is what the back of the books says: 

When Addie Downs opens her front door and discovers her long-lost childhood best friend standing there, with terror on her face and blood on her coat, she finds herself on an extraordinary adventure on which she'll learn the truth about her past and forever change her future...

Addie Downs and Valerie Adler were eight when they first met and decided to be best friends forever. But being a teenager is hard enough without having to maintain childish promises friends make to each other when they're young, especially when life is steering them in different directions.

Val went on to the life of fame and fortune she's always dreamed of while Addie stayed behind in their small Midwestern town, forging a quiet life for herself. But sometimes, the bonds made in childhood hold a tighter reign on our destinies than we know and when, 25 years later Val shows yup at Addie's house with a secret they only a childhood friend can bare, the two women embark on a road trip they'll never forget.

 After reading this book... I did come to the conclusion that it was pretty good. I had actually had it on my shelf for almost a year due to the fact that I tried to bring myself to read it a while back but at the time couldn't get into it. There are some tugging parts in this book, some twist and turns that will keep you interested. These two "best friends" have a past hurt that is revealed in the later part of the book which makes their reunion together a little more interesting. However, through all the drama in the book, I was expecting a little more of a "wow" ending. However, the ending that was written suited it fine...still a little disappointment. Rating out of 10... I would say a 7. Still would recommend it. :) 

"My Hands Came Away Red" by Lisa McKay is by far a great book! I would recommend it a millions times over. It is about a girl who goes on a mission trip and their experiences. Once you get past the first few chapters you CAN'T put it down. I read this book in two days. It had me capitivated. The drama, the tense scenes, the scares...Its a must read! 

Back of the book says: Cori signs up to take a mission trip to Indonesia during the summer sfter her senior year of high school. Inspired by happy visions of building churches and seeing beautiful beaches, she gladly escapes her complicated love life back home. Five weeks after their arrival, a sectarian and religious conflict that has been simmering for years flames to life with deadly results on the nearby island of Ambon. Within days, the church building the team had constructed is in ashes, its pastor and fifty villagers are dead, and the six terrified teenagers are stranded in the mountainous jungle with only the pastor’s teenage son to guide them to safety. Ultimately, Cori’s emotional quest to rediscover hope proves just as arduous as the physical journey home

If you like books that have a lot of action in them... This is a hit. I aim to read more of her books and books like this, this year. My friend Rachel actually lent me this book after reading it herself. She also gave a really good review on it.

 Denise Hunter has written several books that I have read over the past year. This one "Seaside Letters" is one of several of the Nantucket series that she has written. I have read all but two, one of which I am in the middle of reading now. 

Back of Book says:   Their letters could lead to lasting love . . . or expose Sabrina's mortifying secret.Sabrina Kincaid didn't intend to fall for Nantucket native Tucker McCabe, the man she serves coffee to every morning-a man tied to a past she deeply regrets. But she has. And she's fallen hard.But she's kept this a secret from her handsome customer. And now Tucker wants to hire Sabrina to help locate his friend "Sweetpea"-the mysterious woman he's falling in love with online. Sabrina is not inclined to help, but if Tucker hires someone else, it could spell disaster. Because if someone else sifted through the emails and figured out the truth-then Tucker would discover that the person he's trying to find is . . . her.

The Nantucket series are mostly "love" stories but they are most certainly not the sappy ones. They are about people facing big obstacles in their past and how those obstacles and tragic events lead two people together and increase their faith. She writes Christian Fiction, which has become one of my favorite categories to read.  If you like a little love mixed with inspiration... Read these. The Nantucket Series includes Driftwood Lane (her newest one I am reading), Seaside Letters, Surrender Bay, and The Convenient Groom (which I have still yet to read, but will!). These stories are not tied together in any way OTHER than the fact that they take place in the same town of "Nantucket". Characters and stories are all completely different and each have their own surprises. 

I have read many other books of which I will possibly write reviews on later but these three are ones that stood out to me over the past few months. Right now I am reading Denise Hunters: Driftwood Lane and have about three waiting for me once I finish this one. Sometimes I can read a book in a day or two, and other times it may take me 2 weeks. So that is why I am giving myself some time le-way. Some of the books that are on my achievement list for this year are : 

These two books are both by Jeanette Windle. They look exciting and are in the same catagory as "My Hands Came Away Red" so I am excited to get to these two. I have made a list of about 12 books that I know for sure I want to read and will surely find more as I go along! I would love to read all of Denise Hunters books (she has 17) and Lisa McKay's also.  So.... Here I GO!! :)