Life In the Slow Lane....Is this real?

So, life is kinda at a stall at the moment. Sucks really. I wanna go somewhere, be somebody, learn new things, accomplish some stuff, have adventure...whatever else a young woman with a lot of free time on her hands wants to do. So where to begin?

Well, lets see. What oppturnities have presented themselves....
I have several trips planned for the end of the year. If all goes well I will be in Oklahoma the last week of October through the first week of November. Then a weekend in New Orleans for a wedding, then in December off to Haiti with Rachel to see her married off! I am really excited about that trip. I got my dress in from Davids Bridal and it is beautiful. All of the brides maids dresses look good. I am throwing Rach a shower this Saturday, a little nervous about it, but I think we will have a lot of fun none the less.

Now that I have rambled on a little bit, lets go into why I am going to Oklahoma...
Basically, to find myself. Ha. I am at a peak time in my life and not really working at the moment so I am going to use this time to decide my future to the best that I can. So many things have been going through my head and so many sleepless nights have kept me in the "thinking" mode. Stress will most certainly wear you down. Uhhhhhh sometimes I just wanna scream! I know all of you have had these times in your life, and I am almost certain that some of you have had much worse times and what not.

I am having to relearn the value of deep prayer. For so long I have not prayed the way I should have been, its a teachable moment that I am in at the present time. I am 21 years old, almost 22, and this life is hard! Gesh! I have always considered myself to have a level and spirtual head, yes I have made some crazy choices in my life but who doesnt.

I am currently reading "Heaven is for Real"...and through the stories of a little boy, I am starting to realize just how much work I need to do. God calls us to have "child like faith"...what does that really mean? This book explains it well. He also goes into that noone without the child like faith will enter the kingdom. Then I thought...humm, I want an out of body experience, I want that spiritual experience that I can come back and talk about. I am almost jealous of this little boy. Crazy. Yes, I know. But I have been told I am crazy so who cares. Haha. But, I think it is okay to be a little jealous of such things. Who wouldnt want to see Jesus and see his "makers" as this little boy calls the scars on this hands and feet. Who wouldn't want to see the purple sash, his beautiful eyes, and the gold halo the boy describes....I wanna see that. I gotta get there. We all gotta get there. This little boy went to a funeral with his parents and asked his dad if the man who had died knew Jesus, and when his dad coudnt give him a direct answer, this 4 year old boy got upset and begin to yell "Daddy if he didnt know Jesus he cant get to heaven!!" to the point where they had to take him home. It made me smile at the moment but then I begin to think..."no we should all be this way! This is how we should react on a daily basis, even if its "called out" and embarrasing sometimes" As that thought raced in my mind... chills went down my spine. How many of us will really make the cut? Crazy question I know. Gods grace is in abundance...but where and does it stop? Silly question?...maybe. I dont really know.

Something to chew on...

Tired and I still have to finish this book... I think I will write when I finish it on complete thoughts about it.

Night~